EMO

I don't know why I got emotional easily recently. When something does not happen or work the way I planned, I will felt uneasy and down the coming hours or the rest of the day. For example like just now, I went to get my forms from a doctor, I was shocked to see his clinic was empty and he was not around to be seen. I called him and he explained that he was unable to complete the form yesterday due to the busy schedule he had yesterday. That I can understand as I saw his clinic was full of patient yesterday. However, I still felt a bit down cause I like things to be finished early but sometimes it can't be help that there will be something get in the way for you to complete it.

So when sit down in my room, waiting for the time for my afternoon class, suddenly it struck my mind that why my mood so easily affected by my daily happenings. I should had been more stronger and tougher. If these happened few years back, I think I will ignore them and just do what I should do. But now, I am more sentimental and easily get moody.

I don't know is it a good thing. If I am too 'icy', no one will like to interact with and like me. If I let my emotion follow the surrounding atmosphere, then my whole day will be up and down, but I can be happier (or more down?)

What should I do? I wanna change so that I can adapt better with my classmates so that my classmates will not feel awkward around me. But I want to protect myself too because sometimes I might say something that is not right.

What should I do? or just like it be...

Happy, Thankful, Grateful!!!

I received a good news from my mom just now. My sis got into the university in Japan recommended by her teacher. Three Malaysians went for the entrance exam and she and another boy got it. Unfortunately her friend did not get it. I am very happy that she got the university. Now she can have a long break and prepare to come back to Malaysia for family reunion in August. It had been a year that she had not come back to Malaysia. Luckily she got accepted by this university, if not, she would not have this break and she needed to go through several more entrance exams for other university.

I am soooooo happy because last one or two weeks ago, my little brother also had a good news for me which was that he got 3.65 for his first year for his engineering course in NUS. Although it is not a very high mark as the total was 5.0 but he passed the quota set by the ASEAN scholarship which is 3.5. If not, my parents will need to sponsor him for the coming year which might be a burden. Now, he can continue to study his second year without worries.

I am very proud of my brother and sister. They are so good. I almost cried when I got the news about my sis just now because I am thankful that both of them have a good path in front of them. I know they worked really hard in order to get these. So I hope they will continue to work hard and realize their dreams in the future.

I, myself, should also settle down my heart and start my 'engine' now.... I must also set my target for passing my third year so that I can go back to Sibu to meet my sister. Shin Shin, GAMBATEH!!!!

Birthday Happiness

Today is Tuesday. It is the very next day of my birthday. Just wanna update on the events of my birthday 2010.

Sunday (10 JAN 2010)
Morning : eat breakfast and go tesco to buy my cabinet. I chose the one with the lowest price.
: very happy that they bought the cabinet for me
: (without my knowledge, they went to buy cake)
Afternoon: thinking of setting up the cabinet myself as I was very happy they bought the cabinet for me, didn't want to trouble them to do it for me
: but, they took it back from me because they wanted to signature on the board, so I gave them back
Evening : deep in my heart, thinking of something special would happen but on the other hand, felt that nothing special would happen because everyone was busy
Night : I fell asleep because I was very tired
: midnight, they got into my room with a cheese cake
: I was surprised and even more surprised and happy when I saw the cabinet was completely setup with designs and signature
: I was wordless and could only said thank you
: I made my wishes but it was in a rush so I could only wished that all my wishes came true
: talked and joked through the night and dispersed at 2am
: very happy and very happy
: I was more surprised when my sis, in Japan message me when the clock struck midnight
: She really stayed up just to greet me, very touched and happy
: although, I didn't got much birthday sms but I was happy with the few sms I got because I came from the people I loved and care

Monday (11 JAN 2010)
Morning : my birthday
: I got a morning call from mom. I was very happy. We talked and I am really overwhelmed to hear from her because I didn't expect she would call so early.
: I got another morning call from my sis, in Japan. I was surprised and talked non stop. I was very, very overwhelmed and happy. I think she was also happy that we could talk like that which mean talking anything. It was because of the slow wireless and we are far away from each other that we could not talk like that.
: I was really happy to hear from both of the people I loved. I was awaiting the sms from my bro but it never came. Maybe he was busy and didn't recorded my birthday into his phone.
: I had a nice tutorial and short cases with doctor and I got greetings from my group mates
Evening : I got surprised that my groupmate asked the other group mates to go for my birthday dinner making me felt nervous because I scared I missed someone
: At first, I thought only few of us, close friends went out for a simple dinner but in the end, someone backout and unexpected people joined.
: We went to eat seafood ( my favourite) but maybe I was not good in choosing the food, I think majority were not full and the dinner was not cheap also. But at least, we had fun.
: Sometime, I wanted to order something else but I scared it didn't suit their taste, so it was hard for me to make decision.
: Next time, I must order something more practical...
: Later we went for ice-cream at Mc Donald. We had a nice talk then we departed back to hostel.

In summary, I had a nice day. I am really happy especially whenever I see the cabinet. It make my place more spacey and organized.
I really like my 23rd birthday. Thank you everyone that contributed to my happiness on my special day...
I received a lot of unexpected greetings in my facebook also. Thank you everyone...

Pre Birthday Blues...

Today is Sunday. I got lost of the time. I thought today is my birthday. Therefore I awaited for surprise birthday celebration yesterday night but when the time passed midnight, there was nothing. No birthday cake, no birthday card or anything. Then I thought they must combine everything to Monday evening where we will go out to eat dinner. It will be a seafood dinner. This morning when I woke up, I was waiting for birthday greeting sms. There was none. My handphone was silent and there was no messages. Then I thought to myself, my social circle must be very small and I must don't have much friends. I must be too cool and seldom greet people. I was sad but at the same time, my heart was calm and just like myself in any Sunday morning.
Then, when I looked into my handphone, I realised that it is only 10 Jan. I rechecked the date with other calender. It was my mistake. My birthday should be tomorrow. Haihz... But I still think that I should not expect to much because everyone is very busy with their own things. So I am very happy with the gift, a cabinet, that they presented me. They brought me to tesco and bought a cabinet. I am not lacking of anything but I wanted a cabinet to keep my books and food. It will make my place look more organised. Thank you, gals... I am also happy because this morning we went to eat breakfast. I like the dim sum but not really can appreciate the chocolate and 'jin sha' bao which is their famous. Really love you all gals... I am glad I have friends like them...

Today is Friday. Now is early morning 7.05 am. It is raining heavily outside. I don't know why I wake up so early today. When I was awoke, I couldn't fall back sleep. It might be due to the cup of coffee I drank yesterday evening and it made be so restless. I had difficulty to fall asleep yesterday night. Maybe I should drink my coffee earlier.
Yesterday evening, I met with a Chinese, 50 years old, male patient who had polio myelitis and now, he is paralysed due to spinal cord injury. He is a nice person and has a quite sympathetic background but I regretted that why I didn't do his central nervous system physical examination. It is because when I introduced him to my friend who needed a CNS case, they did this examination and the reflexes were very brisk. I thought of doing it this morning but it is raining heavily now. In addition, I promised the patient to visit him this morning.
I know weather is not a problem. During raining days, I can carry an umbrella but I don't know why I planned to do my laundry instead. If the rain stops, I might go but if it doesn't, I will just do my laundry and do so reading. Maybe I will go tomorrow morning. I really regret for not doing his examination. This make me to feel guilty that I am not practicing my physical examination lately. I must really catch up quickly. case summary, presentation, long cases...